Let's Talk About Pubes

I honestly think my downstairs hairdo has changed more times than Cher's upstairs hairdo.

Seriously.  I've done naturale, bare, heart shaped box (get it??), closely trimmed, just the sides, a Charger's bolt, a faux hawk, landing strip, dyed.... you name it, my vagina's seen it.  (Minus Vajazzles because I do have a bottom line)

Pubes are confusing, pesky and leave a woman so conflicted.

At first I went through all the shaving, waxing, pruning and plucking out of guilt.  I'm a hairy broad by genetics and as a budding woman I was told that not only would my future lovers be horrified and disgusted if I kept things as is, anyone else who saw me naked (women in gym changing, doctors, innocent bystanders, etc) would be equally turned off.  I was PETRIFIED.  I started at soon as the hairs popped up; stealing a razor from my Mom and going about it all the wrong way.  I was shaving in a million different directions, using bar soap or just water....OH G-D THE RAZOR BURN.

The only positive was that I had equally hairy girlfriends.  However, we were the blind leading the blind.  We were too embarassed to discuss this with our mothers as it would prove we were under the notion at SOME point, SOMEONE was going to see our vaginas.  We couldn't talk to our sisters because at that age you live a fantasy life full of lies.  To anyone who asked, you already knew what to do because you were blessed with empirical knowledge and you didn't need them for one damned thing!!!

The worst part of this is that it hasn't gotten much easier as far as talking in honesty and reducing shame, like vaginas aren't guilt ridden enough on their own.  Besides worrying about your vagina's lips, smell and coloring, magazines still give you at least one article a month on how to tame this wild unwanted beast that is pubic hair.  If you're wild enough to keep some pubes (you bohemian you) you should probably shape it into something fun and distracting so your mate forgets what a cavewoman you are....try a heart or his name or the Eiffel Tower!!  We've made liking pubic hair a fetish!!!  (Not so secretly I'm hoping I somehow come up on the Google search for the fetishists and they start following my blog so I look mad popular)

I wish I could say I was so enlightened that I did what felt best for ME.  I can't though.  I mean, not all the time anyways.  When I'm not planning on having sex (which has been happening way too long for my liking and my vibrator doesn't care what I do), I keep it closely trimmed because that is what feels good for me.  I don't have to worry about ingrown hairs or the cold chill against my bare unprotected hood and I can just let things go as planned.  I do trim it because like I've already addressed, I could raise hair for Locks of Love if they took that sort of thing and that's a nuisance to have as my dear friends call it, Tom Selleck, in your pants.

conveniently placed FUR rug

So when I decided last weekend on a whim to drive to my Crush's city to see him and get it on (a bunch and it was sublime), I was a little nervous and upset that I wouldn't have the time and resources to get everything in order down there.  I was neatly trimmed, but I never know how people feel about pubes until its too late.  If I had a penny for every time a lover has said they liked whatever I wasn't sporting at the time...well I'd probably only have like 5 pennies, but STILL.  What the fuck am I supposed to do then??? One guy saw my bare clam and said, "Aww, I hate when its all naked like that".  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!  Just be happy you get to be NEAR it Pal!!!  The good news is that Crush seemed to be pleased with whatever was happening...PHEW

I mean its not as if men spend even 1/100th of the time thinking about their ball hair as we do about any of our hair.  I mean, they trim it MAYBE, but its not as if they're mulling over where to find a good waxer that has a strong, firm, yet gentle hand.

I did tweet earlier asking women to tell me how they groom their mon pubis.  Its been about two hours and I've gotten 4 responses sent in a DM (Direct Message for those of you not on Twitter).  Sooo out of my 200+ followers, only 4 women responded and they did it so no one else could see.  I don't actually know what I was going to do with the information once I got it to be really honest.  For those of you that told me, I think it was all in vain :) 

I guess I just was curious where I fell into place...still obviously a little worried about being "normal".  Huh